During the summers of 3rd or 4th
grade, I would attend the YMCA while both my parents worked. There was this one
day where my dad and I were driving home in his big rusty, grey van down route
8. On occasion, the van would need talking to when it started to act up. In
this moment, I heard “just get me there, baby. Just get me there.” About ten minutes after this, when
I finally realized the van was low on gas. Suddenly, the van broke down and I
found myself standing on the side of the highway feeling the cars rush by. As
an awkward kid, I wanted to help out but did not know what to do. Particularly,
when my dad hopped over a fence and told me to come on, I panicked. I didn’t know
how to hoist my body over the grayish wires with diamond-sized holes that were
meant for the smallest feet in the world. Luckily, there was a gas station five
to ten minutes away from where we broke down. While my dad filled the red gas
container, I remember feeling strange for standing at gas station without a car.
My dad ended up talking to another man about carpentry and I again stood there
awkwardly without a purpose, while I waited to get back to the broken-down van
and head home. At this moment, my dad and I both watched this elderly lady pull
up in a typical Oldsmobile with only three rubber tires. This lady had driven
all the way from her home, which had to have been at least 3 miles from the
sight of the long, white, jagged line following her from the street, to the gas
station to see if someone could help her. I remember the shock on my father’s
face when he saw this woman and her car. As a hospitable and knowledgeable man,
my dad took one look at the car and knew exactly what to do. This is the first
memory I have where my father was in a difficult situation and knew exactly how
to solve the problem. Seeing his selflessness
and generosity with the old woman made me proud to have the father I do. So,
for a long time afterward, I would always look at that gas station from the
highway between the storage spaces and give a little chuckle.
Really nice work! I feel like I start to see and hear your father, especially when you quote him. I think you could fill him up even more.
ReplyDeleteAnxious to see what your classmates suggest:
Short possibilities for reflection:
1. This was an embarrassing moment that turned into something you're proud of. Interesting. Wanna talk some about that
2. What's your relationship with dad like? Does this story tell us both about the ways he's sometimes been awkward and the ways he's sometimes been a hero?
Suggestion: the YMCA isn't important to the essay and so it's an odd place to start. What if you started with what your dad said to the car?
Great start.
DW
This was a great start and I'm interested to hear more! I think elaborating more on your relationship with your father would be nice and possibly more reflection relating to yourself. Keep up the awesome work!
ReplyDelete-Emily
Wow I really love the last line! I think you can describe more of what you were like as a kid because there seems to be a funny, familiar story line there (from one awkward kid to another!)
ReplyDeleteI really liked this. I don't know your dad, but just from reading this he sounds like a really nice guy! I agree with Emily though. It would help a lot if you described the relationship you had with your father more rather than only describing what happened.
ReplyDeleteProps to your father for being such a kind gentleman. As Emily mentioned, you should definitely elaborate more on your relationship with him -- perhaps touching on other instances that have made him, in your eyes, "a hospitable and knowledgeable man".
ReplyDelete